I've Been Bored, So I Exercised My Humor Muscle

So, I actually saw this on Facebook. I have been lying in bed for the past week (with just a few exceptions) and I decided this could be an amusing way to pass the time.


1. Do you like blue cheese? Can't we all just be color-blind when it comes to cheese? Actually, I have a friend who is color-blind. I wonder if he can see blue cheese.

2. Have you ever been drunk? No, but I have definitely felt the impaired judgement of Loritab.

3. Do you own a gun? Not yet. Dad Rotar keeps promising me he'll give me his collection. I think he's afraid I'll shoot myself in the eye, which is why he's withholding.

4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite? Any flavor in which the appropriate amount of sugar is used. Had a roommate once who liked to guesstimate.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? I get more nervous that my car is going to break down on the way there, or that I won't find it in time.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Bring on the mystery meat!

7. Favorite Christmas movie? This will sound so random, but "Tiny Toons Christmas Special" and the She-Ra/He-Man Christmas Special

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? hot chocolate. Ymmmm. Actually, it's my beverage of choice for all times of day.

9. Can you do push ups? Yes, but I'm better at wearing one (don't think about that one too hard)

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? That's like asking which grain of sand is my favorite. Though, there is a great three piece red stoned necklace that I really like.

11. Favorite hobby? Acting!

12. Do you have A.D.D? Not officially. But it really only flares up when I'm a meetings for school stuff. Sometimes there's a little overkill in reiteration.

13. What's your favorite shoe? My new black sassy high heels with the ankle strap. They make me feel like a hot mama.

14. Middle name? Ann. But I prefer for people to call me "Your Highness"

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I should stop thinking about (insert guy's name), ow my stomach hurts, I should really stop thinking about (insert same guy's name)

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, milk, and the elixir of love.

17. Current worry? What if it takes me so long to write this note, that I'm late for my next appointment?

18. Current hate right now? I'm not a hater. Though stomach aches rate right up there.

20. How did you bring in the New Year? Ward activity, of which I was in charge of.

21. Where would you like to go? Somewhere in a hand basket. No, I'd like a trip to Australia or New Zealand.

22. Name three people who will complete this? There are no friends of mine that would get excited about this.

23. Do you own slippers? Yes, but it's hard to find pairs that haven't been partially digested by a certain yellow lab puppy.

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Gray. I'm wearing gray pants too. Huge fashion faux pa (spelling?)

25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets? Can one actually sleep on Satin sheets? I thought one just slipped right out of their bed when attempting such a feat.

26. Can you whistle? Only when I'm blowing into my hot chocolate (no joke)

27. Favorite color? PURPLE!!!!!

28. Would you be a pirate? Do I get to hang out with Will Turner? Then yes!

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whichever song I'm currently learning for a show.

30. Favorite Girl's Name? Michelle, duh.

31. Favorite boy's name? Tennyson. Don't hate me, I absolutely love it.

32. What's in your pocket right now? What does this actually tell you about me? Lint, that's what.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Better question would be: what was the last thing that DIDN"T make me laugh. I usually make myself laugh. That happens about once every ten minutes.

34. Best bed sheets as a child? I almost cried tears of joy when I turned 8 and was given an entire bedding set that was purple with unicorns on it.

35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child? I was too young to remember, but apparently I fell off a table and my front two teeth were shoved back into my gums. Luckily, they were baby teeth.

36. Do you love where you live? It's been a whole eight months since anything catastrophic happened (which I know means that tomorrow, the roof is going to cave in), so yeah, I love it.

38. Who is your loudest friend? Carol Atwater. And she knows it.

39. How many dogs do you have? One. But she's the size of three, so that should count for something.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? There is not a snowball's chance in h***.

41. What is your favorite book? AUGH! I hate this question! We'll go with "Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging" for today.

42. What is your favorite candy? I don't discriminate against food.

43. Favorite Sports Team? Whichever one won't mind if I don't watch their games.

44. What song do you want played at your funeral? Jeremiah was a Bullfrog. Or maybe "Thriller" just so the crowd could burst into spontaneous dancing (or flames, whichever)

The Truth is That I Look Good in my Hospital Gown

Thought I'd let everyone know that my surgery went really well. My pesky, angry, red gallbladder is out and now I'm well on the way to recovery. I went in yesterday morning, first to get some lab work done, then onto surgery. I had to wait about 2 hours because there was some miscommunication between my surgeon and his office. He thought his appointments started at 8, when they started at 7. But it wasn't too bad waiting. Mom is in town to make sure I don't die or anything and she kept me company. One of the nicest things was the nurse team and staff at the surgical center. I would normally feel a bit scared/nervous (yes, I admit, I occasionally feel scared/nervous), but they were so great. We were joking around and they were really concerned about my pain. And they provided me with an ultra stylish pistachio green hospital gown that as I put on in the bathroom, I actually turned in the mirror and thought "wow, this is really flattering on my figure" without even a touch of sarcasm.
After the surgery was over and I started to come to, I was amazed at how much pain my body could feel. After two shots of morphine, and the pain not relenting much, they gave me two more shots of Demoral until I finally wasn't in agony. Mom says it's preparing me for childbirth (ha!). I was very proud of myself for not screaming or anything, and I even got up and walked around the recovery room without much help. I kept thinking about what my dad always used to say when I was a kid: "Tough as nails, kid. Tough as nails." That was the mantra going through my head.
Anyway, now I'm to the relaxing and resting portion. I had a few visitors last night and I have to say Heavenly Father must love me something fierce because I have the best friends in the whole world. Oh, and if you want to see a picture of my gallbladder, just let me know. Apparently, it was filled with sludge and white particles.
Man, life is good.

Moral of the Story is: I Need to Go To More Dances

Some of you might have heard about the masquerade ball that a few friends and I attended on Friday. Talk about fun. The evening started out with getting ready. For me, getting ready is one of the most fun parts of the night. I wore a gown I had previously purchased for a play (in which I played a seductive countess), and a mask I had made two days earlier. Kelly came over and I helped her get into her outfit, after which I helped Kristina with her hair. Two of my guy friends had canceled at the last minute. I called up Andy to see if he wanted one of the tickets. After a little coaxing, he was game. Kelly, Kristina, and I went over to Brittany and Gwen's house to wait for them to get ready. To make a long story much more palatable to my ADD audience, when all of us arrived at the ball, it was amazing! Most people were in formals and it was looking a little reminiscent of Prom. However, a few individuals, including men, were in costumes. The main dancing area was devoted to top 40 hits and also dance grooves from previous years (including some that took me right back to those old stake dances). There was a room upstairs in which people were giving instruction in dances from the 17 and 1800's. However, with one boy, five girls, and little space, we didn't stay in that room long. One of my favorite moments of the entire evening was when the first slow song came on. We all were just sort of standing there looking at each other awkwardly. Finally, Andy says, "So, should we start a dance rotation or something?" Maybe you had to be there, but I thought it was quite funny. My dress was a bit cumbersome. I stepped on it routinely, as did those around me. When I tried foxtrotting with Andy, I virtually slipped and slid all over my dress, even occasionally accidentally pulling it down partially, then quickly grabbing it up. Luckily I had the most ginormous slip ever created underneath. I blame any bad foxtrotting on the dress and not on the fact that I haven't danced ballroom style in over 6 years. Afterwards, we went to IHOP, as all really awesome people do. However, by this point, my corset was digging into my sides (my sides still hurt all Saturday!). Overall, it was tons of fun. I've decided I want to go every year. But next time I want a man all to myself. Get working on that, will ya?

"I Enjoy Hiking, Fishing, Anything Outdoors"

As I have already confessed, I've been lackadaisically checking out online dating opportunities. One thing that has really stuck out to me is how about all of the "profiles" for men sound exactly the same. Seriously, every boy likes to fish, hike, run, hunt, etc. In fact, I will recreate a generic profile that could be used by any man on ldssingles.com.
"Hi, I'm new to this whole online thing, but my friends told me I should try it out. I'm a really active person who enjoys hiking, climbing, biking, really anything outdoors. I'm looking for a kind, fun, laid back girl who likes to stay fit."

Now, let me translate this for you:
"Hi, I'm new to this whole online thing (I'm really a liar. Nobody is new to online things anymore), but my friends told me I should try it out (and obviously, I'm going to do it because I don't have an opinion or brain of my own). I'm a really active person (when I'm not surfing the net or playing video games) who enjoys hiking, climbing, biking, really anything outdoors. I'm looking for a kind (but no "sweet spirit" types), fun(but not too funny. She should be laughing at my jokes exclusively.), laid back (who still knows how to look really hot, but doesn't come with any emotional baggage) girl who likes to stay fit (someone who could be mistaken for Angelina Jolie, or maybe even Natalie Portman. Needless to say, she should be really skinny and told she should go into modeling often)."
I've decided that there are two types of people doing online dating stuff: the people who have severe emotional/social dysfunctions which would normally prevent them from dating at all, and people who are so fabulous, but for some reason have gone unnoticed under other people's radars. You can decide for yourself where you think I fit.
I think it would be refreshing to read something completely different in an online profile, even if none of it was true.

For example: Hi, I'm an ex-trapeze artist who has clown fear. My favorite hobbies are: badger chasing, picking my nose and flinging it on my roommates, swimming the English Channel (58 times and counting!). I studied in Ancient History, but am currently pursuing a career in taxidermy. I like to make movies as opposed to watching them, and I've been told by my friends that I'm really sensitive and smell like leather. I would definitely want to communicate with someone who'd write this!

Presenting the "Math Musical"

Which is at least 15% cooler than the "High School Musical." Here's the low down: I've been taking a math class for the past year and a half to make me a better teacher. We have a culminating research project that we've pretty much been working on for a year. We had a few options as to how to present our project: research paper, Powerpoint presentation, decorative poster, or other technology based format. While brainstorming the different meanings of "other" I came up with the idea to present my project in the form of a musical. On film. Written, directed, filmed, starring, and edited by myself. My professor agreed to it, but I'm pretty sure she didn't think I would actually do it. Oh, how wrong she was.
I'm finally starting the filming of said musical tomorrow (Saturday). I might only have 3 people show up (which will be very exciting to make look as if they are 30 students). I guess we'll have to see. Unfortunately, in order to see the finished product, you have to actually be in contact with me, because it is unethical to put it on Youtube.
However, if you would like to be a part of the making of the musical, by all means let me know. You don't have to be a singer or a dancer (though there is some light choreography. I just think that the campier it looks, the more effective it will be at portraying my message).
Should be fun.

Officially Giving Up Younger Men

I'll admit it, I've been looking at online dating possibilities.
I know. You're ashamed, right? It's just that being 28 years old has opened my eyes to the fact that the majority of guys I've gone on dates with in the past few years have been quite a bit younger than I am. So, I'm broadening my horizons.
As I'm broadening my horizons, I thought it would be appropriate to share a top ten list I made a few months ago (when I was actually pursuing an older man).

Top Ten Reasons to Pursue an Older Man

10. I don't have to worry about paying his way through school.

9. He should already have a full set of pots, pans, and other kitchen supplies (which means the wedding reception would be gift card central!)

8. He has more emotional maturity than a turnip.

7. He won't mind my 40-year-old-esque body.

6. It's a good way to tick off my parents . . . really tick them off.

5. Because there's something a little "off" with all the younger ones.

4. He'll be fully capable of taking care of my massive backyard.

3. He comes from a generation where guys actually ask out (and spend time with) the girls they're interested in.

2. Because I'm tired of dating guys that just learned to shave.

1. It would be nice to actually know less than my man. (for both of us)

The Ultra Sound Results are in! It's a ...... Gallbladder!

So, I'm weird. For many reasons. Get over it.
However, the most recent thing that has made me unique (aka special and a person like none other) is that this morning I had an ultra sound. Not because I'm pregnant (unless that immaculate conception thing has come back into style), but because I've wanted to vomit for the past week.
When I went to the doctor and explained my ailments (and how this has happened multiple times in the past, but it only lasted a day or so) she informed me that I most likely had Gallbladder disease (known as Cholecystitis or something like that) which meant that my gallbladder was all angry inside and didn't want to help digest fat. This means that anytime I eat something that has ANY fat in it whatsoever, I have to fight the urge to claw my belly open and rip out my innards. Therefore, I went to get an ultra sound today to see if there were any gall stones which were causing my gallbladder to behave irritably. The doctor didn't find anything, and signed me up for another test next week. Apparently, it is very common to have one's gallbladder removed.
I have a few alternative treatments to surgery that I would like to suggest to my doctor when I see her:

1. Massage my gallbladder. It's had a tough life and probably just needs to feel a little pampered for a change.

2. Compliment my gallbladder. I know that I perform better when I've been complimented and feel that people are confident in my work. Perhaps, my gallbladder is suffering from poor self-estem.

3. Gallbladder transplant. If people can live without their gallbladders, I bet dogs can too. Nadra would only be too happy to oblige.

My favorite part was my dad's response (always wanting to look on the bright side): "Well Mish, perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. You might lose some weight."

Yep. I sure could.