Just Another of My Brilliant Ideas

I hate Kristen Stewart. I'm sure she's a nice human being and all, but I absolutely despise her as an actress. The only thing I've seen her in that I enjoyed was "Speak." In it, she does what she does best: nothing. I've seen her smile twice (and those were only half smiles) and she is the queen of non-expressive line delivery.
When she was chosen to be Bella, I was enraged and horrified (ok, that might be an exaggeration). I imagine that they will continue to make the movies, and they will continue to cast Kristen Stewart in the role.

Well, I have found a very happy alternative. She even looks a bit like Kristen Stewart.
Her name is Missy Peregrym, and she is the star of "Stick It"(a shameless teenage flick that I absolutely love and will lend to anyone who promises to return it). She smiles, she has humor, and she's likable, even when she's playing someone with issues (and doesn't that describe Bella? It does to me.).

The one problem?

She could probably beat up Robert Pattinson.

"The Pajama Game is the Game I'm In"

If you haven't spoken to me for a while (and why haven't you, because seriously, I thought we were friends) you haven't heard about the show that I'm currently in. It's called "The Pajama Game" and it takes place in the Sleep Tite pajama factory in Illinois. Technically it's a love story, but I don't really have that much to do with that aspect. My character is definitely a background type of individual. However, I have discovered that I am an eyebrow actor (somewhat similar to Michael Keaton). My facial expressions are off the charts. There's even a picture in the hallway of the theater where I'm making some sort of face that is way over the top. My character's name is Brenda, and she's a bit boy-crazy. I like to think of her sort of like myself, but without any common sense, or desire for the preservation of self-dignity. She decorates her sewing machine with pictures of her favorite film stars. It's been really nice because the director has really allowed me to ad lib a lot. Usually, my ad libs get bigger laughs than my written lines.
My absolute favorite character is Vernon Heinze. The actor who plays him is so creative and he can make even the quietest audience burst into the "Emphysema laugh" (you know, they're laughing so hard, it's mostly wheezing).
The show is playing every Friday, Saturday, and Monday until June 27th. Hopefully, you'll get a chance to come.

(photo courtesy of The Daily Herald)

Variety Show Pics/Dance Festival

I ended up being in only two of the acts this year for our variety show. And yes, it did take place over month ago. But the pictures were still worth seeing.
This shot was during an SNL skit where a teacher becomes very frustrated at students' lack of knowledge. Unfortunately, I had no real life experience to draw from.Jenni and I performed "Flute Wars." This is my interpretation of Darth Maul. Fun, huh?
The others are of our Faculty dance for the dance festival (choreographed by yours truly). We dressed up like old people.Here I am in my old person glory (and no, that is not my real rear end. There was pillow taped to me underneath). I think this shot should be a future album cover for me.


Randa and I were partners for the swing portion. Our leg lift/kick was the highest and lasted the longest. We're just that cool. And yes, my pillow was starting to fall out at this point of the program.

Home, Home on the Range

For those who haven't talked to me for a week or two, I've decided that this summer is going to be a time for trying new things (especially different kinds of sports). I have started golfing. And when I say started, I mean just barely. Golfing isn't like basketball or baseball. I don't see little kids golfing in the neighborhood. We don't have ward golfing activities. The only time I've ever seen golf is on tv, right before I quickly change the channel. I figured that anyone who plays golf must be about that good.
I'm wrong. One way I know this is because I now play golf, and I'm not good at all. Technically, I've yet to play an actual round of golf. I've been working on my swing at the driving range, which is where I'd like to focus most of my rant on for today.
This morning, I went, for the first time, all by myself to a driving range (this is my third time). There were only two of us out on the range, and luckily our backs were to each other because the other guy was a leftie. I was feeling pretty good about life, and feeling my skills were getting a bit better, when a truck comes by and dumps off a handful of teenagers all dressed the same. They sat in the grass about 60 feet away from me.
At first, as I'd hoped, they were oblivious to my presence. However, I was trying out some of my irons (my weakest shots definitely), and there was one that I sailed completely over without making any contact.
I heard a snicker from the peanut gallery. One kid had been watching me and he now hit another kid and pointed me out. A few more balls (and not very good hits) and I looked over and the entire crew was watching me.
I decided that I needed to show these folks that I didn't suck completely, so I got out my driver and hit the ball perfectly straight at about 180 yards.
In their face. I actually heard applause coming from their direction, though I wouldn't give them the satisfactions of looking at them.
I tell you this for several reasons:
1. I now hate teenagers
2. I found I can't play golf when I know people are judging me.
3. Actually, I can't really play golf at all, but I will continue trying and hopefully improving until I can play.