"I Enjoy Hiking, Fishing, Anything Outdoors"

As I have already confessed, I've been lackadaisically checking out online dating opportunities. One thing that has really stuck out to me is how about all of the "profiles" for men sound exactly the same. Seriously, every boy likes to fish, hike, run, hunt, etc. In fact, I will recreate a generic profile that could be used by any man on ldssingles.com.
"Hi, I'm new to this whole online thing, but my friends told me I should try it out. I'm a really active person who enjoys hiking, climbing, biking, really anything outdoors. I'm looking for a kind, fun, laid back girl who likes to stay fit."

Now, let me translate this for you:
"Hi, I'm new to this whole online thing (I'm really a liar. Nobody is new to online things anymore), but my friends told me I should try it out (and obviously, I'm going to do it because I don't have an opinion or brain of my own). I'm a really active person (when I'm not surfing the net or playing video games) who enjoys hiking, climbing, biking, really anything outdoors. I'm looking for a kind (but no "sweet spirit" types), fun(but not too funny. She should be laughing at my jokes exclusively.), laid back (who still knows how to look really hot, but doesn't come with any emotional baggage) girl who likes to stay fit (someone who could be mistaken for Angelina Jolie, or maybe even Natalie Portman. Needless to say, she should be really skinny and told she should go into modeling often)."
I've decided that there are two types of people doing online dating stuff: the people who have severe emotional/social dysfunctions which would normally prevent them from dating at all, and people who are so fabulous, but for some reason have gone unnoticed under other people's radars. You can decide for yourself where you think I fit.
I think it would be refreshing to read something completely different in an online profile, even if none of it was true.

For example: Hi, I'm an ex-trapeze artist who has clown fear. My favorite hobbies are: badger chasing, picking my nose and flinging it on my roommates, swimming the English Channel (58 times and counting!). I studied in Ancient History, but am currently pursuing a career in taxidermy. I like to make movies as opposed to watching them, and I've been told by my friends that I'm really sensitive and smell like leather. I would definitely want to communicate with someone who'd write this!

Presenting the "Math Musical"

Which is at least 15% cooler than the "High School Musical." Here's the low down: I've been taking a math class for the past year and a half to make me a better teacher. We have a culminating research project that we've pretty much been working on for a year. We had a few options as to how to present our project: research paper, Powerpoint presentation, decorative poster, or other technology based format. While brainstorming the different meanings of "other" I came up with the idea to present my project in the form of a musical. On film. Written, directed, filmed, starring, and edited by myself. My professor agreed to it, but I'm pretty sure she didn't think I would actually do it. Oh, how wrong she was.
I'm finally starting the filming of said musical tomorrow (Saturday). I might only have 3 people show up (which will be very exciting to make look as if they are 30 students). I guess we'll have to see. Unfortunately, in order to see the finished product, you have to actually be in contact with me, because it is unethical to put it on Youtube.
However, if you would like to be a part of the making of the musical, by all means let me know. You don't have to be a singer or a dancer (though there is some light choreography. I just think that the campier it looks, the more effective it will be at portraying my message).
Should be fun.

Officially Giving Up Younger Men

I'll admit it, I've been looking at online dating possibilities.
I know. You're ashamed, right? It's just that being 28 years old has opened my eyes to the fact that the majority of guys I've gone on dates with in the past few years have been quite a bit younger than I am. So, I'm broadening my horizons.
As I'm broadening my horizons, I thought it would be appropriate to share a top ten list I made a few months ago (when I was actually pursuing an older man).

Top Ten Reasons to Pursue an Older Man

10. I don't have to worry about paying his way through school.

9. He should already have a full set of pots, pans, and other kitchen supplies (which means the wedding reception would be gift card central!)

8. He has more emotional maturity than a turnip.

7. He won't mind my 40-year-old-esque body.

6. It's a good way to tick off my parents . . . really tick them off.

5. Because there's something a little "off" with all the younger ones.

4. He'll be fully capable of taking care of my massive backyard.

3. He comes from a generation where guys actually ask out (and spend time with) the girls they're interested in.

2. Because I'm tired of dating guys that just learned to shave.

1. It would be nice to actually know less than my man. (for both of us)

The Ultra Sound Results are in! It's a ...... Gallbladder!

So, I'm weird. For many reasons. Get over it.
However, the most recent thing that has made me unique (aka special and a person like none other) is that this morning I had an ultra sound. Not because I'm pregnant (unless that immaculate conception thing has come back into style), but because I've wanted to vomit for the past week.
When I went to the doctor and explained my ailments (and how this has happened multiple times in the past, but it only lasted a day or so) she informed me that I most likely had Gallbladder disease (known as Cholecystitis or something like that) which meant that my gallbladder was all angry inside and didn't want to help digest fat. This means that anytime I eat something that has ANY fat in it whatsoever, I have to fight the urge to claw my belly open and rip out my innards. Therefore, I went to get an ultra sound today to see if there were any gall stones which were causing my gallbladder to behave irritably. The doctor didn't find anything, and signed me up for another test next week. Apparently, it is very common to have one's gallbladder removed.
I have a few alternative treatments to surgery that I would like to suggest to my doctor when I see her:

1. Massage my gallbladder. It's had a tough life and probably just needs to feel a little pampered for a change.

2. Compliment my gallbladder. I know that I perform better when I've been complimented and feel that people are confident in my work. Perhaps, my gallbladder is suffering from poor self-estem.

3. Gallbladder transplant. If people can live without their gallbladders, I bet dogs can too. Nadra would only be too happy to oblige.

My favorite part was my dad's response (always wanting to look on the bright side): "Well Mish, perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. You might lose some weight."

Yep. I sure could.