Saturday, November 8, 2008

Top Ten Reasons to NOT Forgive Others


I got in somewhat of a frustrating debate with a friend last night. To preserve his anonymity, we'll just call him Andy M. . . . no wait, A. Morrise. I was cleaning my room when I found this old gem of a top ten list. It seemed oddly appropriate. It's from back in the day when LaNell was a roomie. I know this because it was attached to a cartoon of us I drew. Trust me, if I had a scanner, you'd be able to enjoy that drawing as much as I currently am. So here's the list:

Top Ten Reasons to Not Forgive Others

10. We would no longer have an excuse to use swear words.

9. My punching bag performance would suffer.


8. If I wasn't so angry, I'd probably just eat more.


7. My crusty glare still needs work. It still can't kill instantaneously.


6. Bitterness is a muscle that needs to be worked on as much as your abs do (washboard
bitterness?)


5. When have we ever been commanded to do this? I would know if we were. I read the
scriptures often.


4. I didn't start it . . . . he/she/it didn't apologize.


3. Planning revenge is an exercise of the imagination.


2. Nursing a grudge is just as fun as nursing a scotch (or so I hear).


1. Forgiveness makes you weak, jerkface.

3 comments:

Mallory said...

I pretty much love your facial expression in that picture. I also love your efforts to preserve anonymity. Very considerate of you. :)

LaNell Brown said...

That was one of the best tom ten lists. I will have you know I took some guff at your halloween party for how loud we were in church. It must be so boring without me:)

Jonika said...

sista! Please let me steal this...I will tell everyone you wrote it but I love it! you are so funny!