Monday, October 8, 2012

Back from the Dead With Something to Say!

General Conference was such a great experience. Every time I hear the prophet and apostles speak, my heart testifies to me again and again of the truthfulness of their words and the Lord's work here upon the earth.
I was interested in the announcement made about the new age of serving missionaries (18 for boys, if they choose, and 19 for girls). I say interested as opposed to excited because it doesn't really affect me that much. (Though I am excited for Avery, as he is now preparing to put in his papers immediately.)
I figured everyone would be excited about the news.  Imagine my puzzlement when I read an article written by a Mormon mother who felt cheated, and even somewhat resentful. You can read the article for yourself at https://askmormongirl.wordpress.com .  Apparently, and I never knew this, women have felt that marriage was pushed so much over serving a mission, that they got married, didn't serve missions, and now feel like their husband is the spiritual know-it-all of the marriage because they DID serve a mission. They talk about how their lives would have been so much better if they had served a mission at 19 (instead of getting married, I would presume).
Maybe I'm a little confused.  I didn't realize one had to serve a mission in order to witness miracles,  study the scriptures, and become strong gospel learners.  I'm sad that so many women feel cheated because they chose to get married instead of go on a mission.  (If this is you, I suggest you look at the man you love, who you married, and your kids because they might not have been yours if you served). 
This article talked about how marriage has been the only choice for young women in the church.

Whatever. 

I've grown up in this church, spoke at the pulpit, marked up my scriptures, and I didn't just wait around to get married once I turned 18.  I worked on my education. I studied hard in school. I dated, increased my talents, and made myself the best person I could be.  Yeah, I wanted to get married, but that wasn't the only goal I focused on. I had many friends who were set on going on missions, but fell in love before they turned 21. I had never planned on serving a mission, but I served in Pennsylvania.  Not because I couldn't get married, but because the Lord revealed that's what He wanted me to do.  My mission did not turn me into some spiritual zealot or religious giant. It solidified even more the rock-solid testimony I had already cultivated.
Sisters who didn't serve missions because they chose marriage instead shouldn't feel inferior to their mission serving husbands. I met plenty of Elders on my mission who knew less about the gospel at the end of their mission than I did as a Beehive in Young Women's. Serving a mission is not a sure-fire way to spiritual giant-ism. It can be a life changing event, if you let it. But then again, so can building a piece of Zion with a family in a righteous home environment. So can looking into your child's eyes, knowing the Lord has entrusted you with one (or more) of His precious children.

Sisters, don't ask the why's or the what if's. You will only find yourself confusing what might have been with what should have been.  They are not the same. Trust in the Lord, become the best and strongest woman you can be, love your life and be happy with who you have become. And if you're not happy. . .  well my friend, that is your choice. Please don't assume that taking a different road would have been made your life any better. Different, for sure. But not better.

5 comments:

Jenni said...

Thank you, Michelle! I, too, have been puzzled by some comments I've read/heard about the announcement changing the minimum age for missionaries. I known plenty of amazing people (male and female) who have amazing Gospel knowledge and maturity because of the time and effort they put into their testimonies on their own time as regular people, regardless of whether they've served a mission Thanks for laying out the rest of my thoughts on this subject better than I could have. :-)

Kristen Brady said...

A-freaking-men!

Mallory said...

Very insightful, Michelle! I have to admit the occasional feeling of spiritual inferiority among so many female friends who served, so I really appreciate this post -- it's about the work we put into our gospel knowledge and testimonies, not necessarily the circumstances in which we do it that help us develop and be the best people that we can be.

Julianne said...

Mish! I was so excited to see a new post from you pop up in my Google Reader! Great post. Very well said. Also, I miss you. Please tell me we can do something fun this month for your birthday. :)

Big Mama said...

Love it! It's so dumb how girls blame things like this on others. Um, did they not pray about getting married? Or if those that served a mission, did they not pray if they should serve a mission or not? Of course you're talking about me when it comes to people that were going to serve a mission but fell in love. The funny thing is, I didn't necessarily fall in love, but the Lord flat out let me know that I was NOT supposed to serve a mission and I was supposed to marry Jason. I wasn't too happy about it at the time, but looking back I know for a fact I was supposed to and I'm glad I listened to Him. My little family was waiting to come here to the earth. Ya, I don't know a whole lot of the scriptures, but one thing I do know and love and do all the time is missionary work! It's the best! Just like you Michelle! Miss you guys!