Saturday, January 23, 2010

Top Ten Ways to Tick off a Date


Like all women, there are some dates I go on out of obligation. But not any dates I've gone on with you. I promise.
I don't know about any other gals reading this, but I have a hard time saying no to dates. I was raised to be kind and sensitive to others' feelings, which translates to me normally being pursued by men on the psycho/stalker side of life. Anyway, I've decided that there are a few simple steps a girl can do to ensure that she never gets asked out on a second date.

Top Ten Way to Make Sure You Don't Get A Second Date

10. Wear a turtleneck.

9. At dinner, chew your food with your mouth open and comment on how your ex boyfriend's cooking is so much better tasting.

8. As you walk next to each other, constantly kick your date's legs out from under him. Tell him this is due to "leg Turret's."

7. During the movie, call your mother and ask if her wedding dress is still available.

6. If at any time he tries to touch you, purr and rub your head against his shoulder or ankle.

5. Ask him if he'd like to help you put together your 1000 piece Edward Cullen Twilight puzzle.

4. At some time during the date, yell out "This man is not my father!" and try to run away.

3. Cry

2. Any time he's not looking at you, take something out of your purse and throw it at him.
(Those leather wallets can leave quite a welt).

1. At the end of the date, instead of a kiss or hug, you should hip-check him off the porch. Adios!

So there you have it. May all your dates be first ones.

3 comments:

Carol Joy said...

Awesome! Love it. I was kinda expecting the opposite--things that a guy can do that will tick off the girl. And I thought it was going to feature vignettes of your life! Wink, wink. Twas looking forward to that one...maybe you ought to do that one too!

Mamafamilias said...

Hello to you from a total stranger (I clicked on the "photography" interests on my own blog and when it pulled some up, I thought I'd visit yours and found that you remind me alot of my daughter. I loved your "tick off a date" post. She will enjoy that when I tell her about it!

She just graduated from college with a degree in history and she's currently trying to get a job in this awful economy. However, she really doesn't want to teach right now, as she has been working in a public library since high school and she's quite ready to do something a little different. Any suggestions? She has toyed with the idea of moving to Utah - she has cousins there. Would you recommend it? Decisions, decisions.

Anyway, thanks for letting me visit. if you want to visit her blog, follow your way back to mine and click on the "Kelly" on the side. i think you might like it!

Mamafamilias said...

P.S. My daughter is a photography buff too and she has a Nikon.