Top Ten Reasons Why a Kick in the Teeth is Better Than Having a Relationship With a Male

I was rummaging through some old photos and paper when I came across this absolute gem! A few years ago, a good friend of mine (by the name of Amy Catale) went out to dinner with me. She confessed that life was not going well for her because this boy she had been dating dumped her rather unceremoniously. No worries, I told her. Making top ten lists is what I do to make myself feel a bit better! So, together we came up with the following list.
It's important to understand that this list was written to comfort a friend. There are times in my life when I find it's handy to take on the role of bitter-spinster-female-hag. It's not a very happy place, but the writing that comes out of it is usually just this side of brilliant!

So, here you go:

Top Ten Reasons Why a Kick in the Teeth is Better Than Having a Relationship With a Male

10. There are possible repercussions for the kicker.

9. A kick in the teeth requires no closure

8. You can't blame yourself for a kick in the teeth. (No really, it's my fault that my teeth got in the way.)

7. Being kicked in the teeth requires no effort on your part.

6. With a kick in the teeth, you're guaranteed at least some physical contact.

5. There is a possibility of getting gold bling (for the record, I absolutely detest that word) if you get kicked in the teeth.

4. There is no injuring of the self-esteem with a kick in the teeth.

3. Being kicked in the teeth will only hurt once.

2. A kick in the teeth will never tell you you're fat, or that it's not you, it's it.

1. Let's face it, who doesn't like a kick in the teeth?

So, that list healed a friend's soul for an evening. Perhaps it has helped yours as well . . .