So, I'm sick.
Again.
To those who I see daily, this should be shocking because it seems as though I've spent the majority of the last two months being ill.
Apparently, I just can't get enough. It would appear that I love being sick.
10. It gives my dad and I something to talk about:
Mish: Dad, I'm feeling sick.
Dad: Have you gone to the doctor? What if it's the swine flu? You know that kills people right? Promise me you'll go see a doctor this instant.
(ten minutes later)
Mish: Dad, it's ok. It just feels like a bad cold. A doctor wouldn't be able to do anything for me anyway.
Dad: Mish, listen to your father. You need to get it checked out. Do you need money? I'll send you some money if you need it to go to the doctor.
Mish: No, I'm fine. . . (conversation ends, twenty minutes later, with Mish promising to see the doctor the following day)
9. I always knew I was hot. Now I have a thermometer to prove it.
8. As one of my pals pointed out, coughing fits are excellent exercise for one's abs.
7. Being sick encourages my roommates to do nice things for me. In fact, just this evening, Kristina bought me a can of Lysol so I could disinfect the couch I've been inhabiting. (true statement)
6. I can catch up on all the miniserieses (how in the world would you spell that?) that I haven't had time to watch because I was trying to be social and stuff.
5. I have now become as scary and intimidating as my Rottweiler. In fact, if someone were to try to break in, and saw me, they'd run off thinking that I was going to chase after them and bite them.
4. I hear that the effects of a fever breaking can resemble a young, vibrant glow.
3. It takes talent to ooze out of various orifices. . . simultaneously.
2. My Star Trek dinner glass is mine. All mine. I don't have to fight for it, now that it's been "contaminated."
1. Fever-induced hallucinations are the new frontiers of imagination. Why just last night I had a fever dream that was insane. I dreamt that I was at school, but my principal had hired a substitute for me. The sub refused to leave and we were both trying to teach the class at the same time. Those subs.
Anyway, I sit here on my newly detoxified couch hoping that you and yours are feeling in good health.
4 comments:
Hillarious! Now I feel much better about feeling really crumby.=)
Aww, I hope that you get to feeling better soon. Who knew illness was such a breeding ground for comedy? (Well, comedy and germs...)
Michelle, you are indisputably awesome. I was sad you had to quarantine yourself last night. Get better now! (That's a command.)
wow...I'm impressed, this is such a fab piece that I read it to my hyperchrondriac mother(who just helped me spell that word and hence proving she knows she has every illness in the symptom book)thanks for the laugh,was just browsing(I'm new to this blogging thing) and memoirs of moo is a classic.
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